父母物欲观影响华裔子女加国前程

在物欲横流的中国，人财富成为衡量从社会成功到孩子教育等成就的唯一标准。但是物欲主义在加拿大的教育体系中却难以找到立足之地，而拒绝接受加拿大价值观的父母们也会发现其子女教育方式与加国的教育系统格格不入。

 As materialism increasingly grips China, wealth has become the only measure of success of one’s achievements – from social status to parenting skills.  But materialism may not find its place in the Canadian education system, and parents who refuse to conform to Canadian values may find their parenting styles are displaced in Canada.

物欲主义影响子女教育

Parenting embedded with strong materialism

随着越来越多在加国拥有一定经济地位的移民将子女送到私立学校，有关私立学校的问题已经成为社区社交媒体平台的主要讨论话题。但是移民追逐私立教育的目的却引发诸多关注。为充分利用私立学校的丰富资源当然对子女有利，但将其视为身份地位的象征却会误入歧途。

Issues around private schooling have dominated the community’s social media platform as a growing number of established immigrants send their children to private schools. But the purpose of chasing private education system has caused concerns. Tapping into private schools’ rich resources can be beneficial, but taking it as status symbol is a sign of trouble.



加国私校中家庭收入悬殊，某些中产家庭的家庭财富水平与富裕家庭不可同日而语。但一些家长称其子女因这种家庭收入落差而失去自信，甚至产生深深的自卑感和羞耻感以至于为此而欲退出私校。

There is a big wealth gap among families of private school students. Some parents say their children have lost self-esteem as their parents’ income fall far below the families of rich kids in the school. Some children are so deeply grappled with the embarrassment and shame that they want to quit private school altogether.

一位家长发帖称：“如果我的孩子退学我会很尴尬，别人可能会以为是我负担不起他的学费。”

“I’m embarrassed if my child quits,” one parent posted.”Others may think that I can no longer afford to keep him there.”



但是在加拿大，无论是公立教育系统还是私立教育系统都决不会以父母的财富水平作为衡量学生成功的标准。学校只重视学生的学习成绩、社会工作和课外活动表现，与其家庭富裕与否无关。

But the Canadian education system – regardless of private or public, never measures a student’s success base on their parents’ wealth status.  Schools recognize students’ achievements in academic, community work and extracurricular activities. Family wealth has no impact.

虽然有些家长将私立学校作为身份地位的象征，但另一些人却只将其视为一种进行人际交往的平台。

While some treat private schools as a status symbol, others see it as a social connection platform only.



另一位家长发帖称：“我儿子在学校里成绩并不好，但他一点都不在乎。他上私校的目的就是籍此接触钱人。”

“My son has poor grades at school, but he couldn’t care less. He only uses the school as an opportunity to connect to the rich,” reads another post.

毫无疑问，过度的物欲观念会严重影响孩子的成功，甚至还会导致他们在学业上败北。

Undoubtedly, excessive materialism can take a toll on a child’s success. Worse yet, it can also setup them up for academic failure.

失败的儿子  父母的耻辱

Failed son and disgraceful parents

在西方大学的学历被视为身份地位、权力和阶层的有力象征的中国，子女跻身于加国大学当然会为家庭镀金添彩。但孩子的学业失败则往往会被视为耻辱，令家长感觉无颜见人。

In a society where degrees of university in the West are a significant part of status, power and class in China, an enrolment into a Canadian university is always a great honour to the family.  But children’s failure is often regarded as disgraceful, leaving parents facing terrible emotional pain.



我的一个中国朋友就一心想让她的儿子就读加拿大顶尖大学。她和其他许多非富豪的中国家长一样，宁愿勒紧裤腰带省吃俭用也要供孩子到加拿大留学。

A friend of mine in China decided to send her son to a top Canadian university. Like hundreds of parents in China who do not belong to the super rich class, they have made financial sacrifices to get their children into a Canadian institution.

但是作为一个中国高中毕业生，其公子的英语水平远远达不到加拿大大学的要求标准。可她却一口回绝让其儿子就读高中ESL课程的建议，原因很简单：重读高中太丢人。

But as a Chinese high school graduate, her son’s English skills are far from being qualified for a university program that demands strong English proficiency. The suggestion of sending him to a high school ESL program was squarely rejected. The reason was simple: repeating high school is shameful.



最终，她通过某种开后门关系，其子终于入读一所加国大学。但此举却似乎成为其日后灾难的契机。

Some back door deals have eventually landed her son into a university program, but it had only precipitated a disaster.

由于英语水平太差，她浑身上下都是名牌的儿子大学一年级就成绩不合格，被学校停学。这一令人震惊的消息几乎让其全家人沮丧不已。以其一年学费，住宿开销为计，该友人可谓将一辆豪轿车推入海里。但经济损失之外，父母还为此陷入深度抑郁。

Without adequate English proficiency, her son who wears brand name clothing has failed his first year of university and now faces academic suspension. The shocking news has almost torn the family into pieces.  It had not only caused an investment loss – his first year tuition and expenses burned a luxury car -- it has also put the mother in emotional distress.



我同情他们的遭遇和感受，但却对他们的价值观和教育方式却嗤之以鼻。我朋友的故事并不鲜见。中国的独生子女政策和物质主义至上的教养方式造就了一代小皇帝，他们享受地位和财富，但却缺乏实现自我成功的积极性和独立性。

I feel their pain. Yet I am deeply revolted by their values and parenting styles. But my friend’s story is not unique. China’s one-child policy, coupled with materialist parenting has created a generation of little emperors—who enjoy status and wealth but lack motivation and independence to achieve success on their own.

故乡的某些文化包袱不仅给我们自身带来伤害，还会深深影响子女的成功，但愿我们能在加国的生活旅程中彻底将其抛弃。

Some cultural baggage carried from our hometown will hurt us and lead our children to failure, unless we are willing to abandon them on our life journey in Canada.

编注：本文曾在2015年2月《大中报》上发表。
Note: The story was published in Chinese News in February, 2015.